Friday, December 10, 2004

G, You So Crazy

Hello again...

If anyone still checks this, then I'm pretty lucky, since I post sporadically at best. Work is a mess, as per usual this time of year. However, things are going well. Until tonight. You see, tonight I witnessed a sight of mythic preportions...something so bizarre that I may never be the same...

Heinz 57 sauce mixed with Tabasco.

OK, that was anti-climactic, but it's late and I am really quite scarred. You see, Gretchen (my wife for those scoring at home) and I went Christmas shopping tonight. We didn't get to leave the house until almost 8 pm, and the last store in the mall closes at 10. So I determine that dinner is not a time-effective proposition and we shop first. After hitting four or five stores in two hours, we're done and I'm dead on my feet. To Waffle House we head, figuring that it's relatively cost-effective, and we can get some decent eats.

Gretchen is on Weight Watchers right now, so she has a pretty specific quota of vegetables she needs to eat each day. In case you aren't familiar, Waffle House is not exactly a cornucopia of rabbit food. She proceeds to order a chicken sandwich with lettuce and ...

... one grilled onion, on the side, please.

I order my two burgers and double hashbrowns (scattered, smothered, covered, diced, capped) and shake my head. "This will be interesting," I think. Little did I know...

Our food arrives, and our server brings the biggest pile of grilled onions I've seen for one human. We would ask later if it was one onion or two, and apparently Waffle House gets the super-size onions from the field. (Thanks, Waffle House Farmer Guy.)

Anyway, Gretchen finishes her sandwich, and looks to the pile of onions and then to the variety of sauces provided by our friendly neighborhood Waffle House. She chooses Heinz 57 and Tabasco. She pours a small amount of the 57 sauce on her plate and then proceeds to dribble two or three drops of Tabasco into the glob. After trying a few slices of onion, she takes the Heinz 57 and makes a larger glob, dribbling Tabasco along the way. The next thing she does defies reason, or at least common sense. She takes quite a few onion pieces and mixes them among the blob of sauce.

What I see from across the table is this mass of food (if it even qualifies - I will be consulting the FDA) makes me quiver. It must be some sort of strange animal entrails or something, right? Nope, it just looks that way. This monstrous pile of onions, covered with this brownish-orange sauce is just...well, nasty. And that's all I'm going to say about that...

'Til next time, whenever that is...


1 comment:

Scott said...

Sounds like something Phil would eat... Frightening! Anyway, I finally clicked over here, and I'll probably post a beginning blog entry in a few days, or weeks, since mine will probably be much more random and sporadic... And will use my favorite bit of punctuation, the ellipsis (...), much more often. Should be fun!
Later...